Animal Kingdom

Anderson Christmas Bash '06

2006-12-21T09:14:00.000-08:00

good times...

A funny tale to tell

2006-12-21T08:56:00.000-08:00

Last night my husband and I were doing some last minute holiday shopping at two connecting stores. After making a small purchase at the first store, he decides to put our goods in the car before continuing on to the second. I decide to wait by the stores front while he does so. As I am waiting, I notice a corner where the connecting stores meet. It is dark so I thought it funny to place myself in said corner while Blake is not watching. I not-so-sneakily peak my head out of the corner to see Blake's position. He spots me and continues back toward the front of the store. Being the silly muffin that I am, I stay in the corner and sillily peak my head out again; once again, Blake sees me. I go back into my corner. I'm watching as the shadow begins to approach and prepare myself for deployment. When the shadow gets just within my reach I jump out and yell "BOO!" while flailing my hands in the air. Much to my embarrassment, I see that the shadow did not belong to Blake. I had just scared the pants off this couple that was rather goth like. I got just about the most evil stare I'd seen as I bow my head in shame and vehemently apologize for my error. The whole time Blake is standing behind the couple laughing quite hysterically. As he later told me, he saw the couple walking from the other direction where I could not see and allowed them to go first sensing my plan to "boo" him. Sneaky sneaky husband. He'd planned it the whole time.... It made for a good chuckle.

New Dog Toy

2005-07-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

Last night I went home, let Haus the dog out, who is steadily getting larger and larger despite his 12 weeks of existence. He is already 30+ lbs at the moment and seems to get bigger with each hour. I decided to lay on the floor so he wouldn't feel left out. I'm laying there with him behind me, chewing on his towel, when I feel a sudden jerk on my head. Turns out, he decided that my hair would be a fun chew toy. I don't know if you have seen a dog kill a toy before, when they take it and shake their head from side to side in quick motions, well it's rough, and he did that with my head. Not to mention they don't like to let go of a toy once they have it, if you pull, they think it's a game. So needless to say, I was in quite a predicament. It very thankfully didn't last long. My screaming and cries for help were heard in the next room and my faithful boyfriend ran to the rescue. I do believe I have learned my lesson. From now on, I'll sit in the chair.

A Blonde Moment

2005-07-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was at work and was asked to enter the payment received from the underwriters. As I love doing accounting, I was happy to start on my task. There were many checks received, more than I had entered in a long time, and to make matters more frantic, the secretary is out of town for the week and she usually sorts everything out for me with the checks attached to their respective folders. I had spent about half the morning working on this task. One duty is to make 2 copies of each check, so I did that. Well, turns out, I put one check on the wrong account after I had turned my paperwork into the office manager. So, I went in and fixed the error, then made two seperate deposits to turn it. This time, the two weren't balancing. I was off $134.28. I was MISSING that much! Trying not to panic, I retraced my steps, looking all around my desk, on the floor and in the deposit envelope. Still nothing. I'm trying to look natural so that no one asks what's wrong. I can't very well tell anyone I have lost $134.28 that doesn't belong to me. Well, the franticity of my thoughts continued for a good 10 minutes or so. UNTIL, I went back to the copy machine to make a copy of something else. Low and behold, there it was. I had left the check on the copy machine. OOPS. I felt pretty darn retarted at the time.

What is this world coming to?

2005-07-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday was my boyfriends birthday. I am arguably the worst gift giver that ever lived. So, I wanted to do something great for once. It was brought up many times the thought of a dog, one that he wanted. Apparently every dog he has ever had has been picked out by someone else. So, he said specifically, he wants a Weimaraner, grey, with blue eyes. Seeing as he lives in an apt complex, I had him call the landlord and ask permission before I fork out some shells on a purebred dog. 2 days later, the landlord calls back (after having thought about it the whole time) and leaves a message saying he could indeed have a dog as long as he pays a $300 pet deposit. Blake said he would pay the deposit if I got him a dog. The next morning I took Blake to the breeder and was able to pick out the exact puppy he wanted. This guy was BEAUTIFUL! (I will post pictures when I get them). He walked straight up to Blake and put his paw on him. He was calm though quite huge for a puppy. The mother is 110 lbs!!! After picking him up, we head to my grandmother's lake house to allow the puppy to swim and play. On the drive home, after a day of bonding, the landlord calls back. This time he says "I have changed my mind. You can't have a dog". Blake explains that I already got him the dog and it is non refundable. If we take him back, we're out $250. The landlord explains that he has the right to deny Blake that privilege and it's just too bad. The next day, there is a list of pet policies on his door from the condo leasing office stating "the landlord must give consent for a pet....violations will result in eviction". So basically, this guy is a total a** hole. Blake is moving out, to a larger, dog friendly apt complex. The landlord has yet to return Blake's phone calls about moving out. What a bunch of poo huh?

2005-07-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

Behind the Old Monk. The first stop on Saturday's Pub Crawl.

2005-07-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

A happy Big Blue at the start of a great weekend

Weekend Tales

2005-07-07T07:38:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was the celebration of out great nations independence. How better to celebrate than to do what our ancestors did so well....BOOSE! (I'm German) I had the weekend off work and Monday of course, and anticipating a rough night I went ahead and took Tuesday off for the purpose of recovery. (Which turned out to be a smart move). Saturday through Monday was pretty much like any other summer weekend. Wake up, get an early start on the day with a vodka and OJ then head off to the pool where the drinking commences until nightfall and even later. Wake up, start over again. Monday night came, we had started the day with some shopping for pool toys and festive wear then headed over to Pappasitos for some Jose Cuevro Gold Margaritas and beer. A friend joined the four of us already there and bet us that there was no way we would make it to the Keith Anderson concert and firework display that was scheduled for the evening. The bet was $500. If you knew the two girls I was with, you would have known that there pass out point was early. On Sunday, we woke up and started boozin. They both had passed out by noon, woke up and started again. A term we have deemed "the double header". So, Monday went on, our friend Eli who placed the bet had decided to spend the day with us to make sure who won the bet. It was getting rough. We never stopped drinking, simply went about our day like it was still Saturday. 8 o'clock rolls around and we're still functional (somewhat) at least enough to get in the car (WITH BIG BLUE) [See previous post on who big blue is]. We make it out to Lewisville and to the sight of the concert. The fireworks start going, worst show I have ever seen. Our two girl friends had wondered off to find the concert. I gave them my camera to take pictures of the new country star. They had taken a phone to track us when they wanted to come back. I began sending text messages when I could no longer hear the music. I got no response. A short time later they come stumbling back, a little drool on the chin (due to the sight of Keith Anderson [the singer]). The phone used to keep in touch with us came back in several pieces. Turns out, there was a VIP section of this concert and my friends thought that was crap. So, as one girl distracted the guard of the area, the other climbed over, then switched places so the other could get in. In the process of climbing over the fenced off area, the phone had fallen to its death. Per the girls, it was well worth it. We all made it home safely, though few of us actually remember. It was a great weekend.

Where has the muse gone?

2005-07-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

For all of you wondering "where has the bloggist gone?", unfortunately, my muse is apparently assisting somewhere else. I'm hoping after a 4 day weekend of celebrating this wonderful nations independence, I will have some glorious stories to tell. Be waiting....

DUMB AND DUMBER REVIVED

2005-06-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening I was invited to go to the Lakewood theater in Dallas to watch Dumb and Dumber being played on the big screen again. It was great. I got there and it was $1 admission, $2 wells all night and Hooters was giving out free buffalo wings. Before the movie started, there was a hoola hoop contest on stage to win a free gift certificate to Hooters. Then, as a "thank you" from the people who ran the theater, they gave out free concert tickets to those who wanted them. I tried for the Cinderella tickets, but didn't get them. Although I did end up getting tickets to see Static X, whoever the heck that is. Overall, it was a great time, a bunch of drunk people watching Dumb and Dumber, half of the crowd (including myself) quoting just about the whole movie, and then those few interludes from the real drunks. Pretty freakin hilarious. Good times, good times.

2005-06-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

Adventures in the river with Blue (not pictured, though his contents are [the beer])

2005-06-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

This is my cousin Adam.

2005-06-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of my brother when he was little.

Encounters With the Rich and Famous

2005-06-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

Sooo, yesterday after work, I make a trip to the liquor store that is less than one block away from my apartment. I park next to a wonderfully lovely large Merecedes Coupe, silver. I walk inside only to see that the love of my life, DIRK NOWITZKI is standing behind the counter. To bring you up to date, I have been in love with Dirk for about 3 years now. I already have the wedding planned and everything. As I walk in, he turns and looks at me, smiles and turns back to pay for his vodka. I, thinking in my head "be cool, play it cool" casually strut over to the beer section, grad an 18 pack and head over to the counter. As I'm walking, Dirk gathers his belongings and walks out the door. In a panic, I quickly rush over to the counter, set my things down and tell the check out girl, I love Dirk, I'm gonna go get him. So I start running when the cashier yells, "do you have a pen?" I say no, run pack to get the one she was extending to me, then run out the door. I see Dirk is already in the car I parked next to and is driving off. I tried to run after the car, yelling "DIRK, COME BACK!!" My efforts were to no avail. Dirk was gone and my opportunity passed. Just as I'm kicking myself in the butt, I am told that Dirk frequents this liqour store, which means, he lives in my neighborhood. Now that I know what car he drives, I can sit and wait. Stalkerish, yes. But so long as I'm aware I have a problem, I should be fine, that's the first step right? I was also informed that he frequents Eatzi's, a little deli type restaurant and market across the street from the liquor store, also within walking distance of my home. So, from now on I plan on spending my time on the look out. I'm now 0 for 2 with celebs. For those of you who know of my encounter with Steven Tyler, words were at least spoken on that encounter however, the stupidity on my end was just about the same.

Tony the Tank

2005-06-15T07:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after work I headed off to 24 hour fitness to get in my days workout. Seeing as my new apartment doesn't have a pool or gym, being built in 1926 and looking more like an office building, I was forced to join a club gym. First, I walk in and take my place on the elliptical machine, luckily getting the only one left. I am looking around, this club is packed as apparently right after work is the popular time to go. I'm not a big girl, and in 30 minutes, I counted only 5 people that were more overweight than myself. I was in Barbie land. I took it as motivation to be more fit and went about my business. 5:30 rolls around and there is an abdominal class (OH MY GOSH, the IT guy just farted VERY loud! I'm on the other side of the office. That's so sick) that I have been wanting to participate in. I go downstairs, take my place on the floor with my mat. I see that Tony is the instructor on the list outside. Little do I know that "Tony" is a giant built black man that should be in the military pushing those folks around. He walks in, tells us to get on our mats and start crunching. He explains the right way to do the sit ups and then says "GO". About 1 minute into this class I'm already thinking I might die. He says "only 8 more, come on!" So, I'm counting down in my head, painfully thinking I can complete these 8. Finally, down to one. Tony says, "KEEP GOING, YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD STOP! GO GO GO" I'm in so much pain after 5 mintues of this, NON STOP that I start laughing out loud, uncontrollably. Luckily the Tank doesn't notice, though the people around me did and thought I was on crack to be laughing at this torture. After about 8 minutes of the class, we are instructed to turn over and lie on our stomachs. Then, to put our arms underneath our chest and raise off the ground, curling our feet so that our bodies are hovering parallel to the ground. This is probably the most painful thing you can do. He makes us stay there for a minute or so. I am hurting, probably really about to die this time, so I stick my butt up in the air a little, makes it a lot less painful, when Tony walks over and pushes my butt down, so that I am parallel again and yells (with an already loud microphone on him), "YOU DO NOT PUT YOUR BUTT IN THE AIR, THAT DOES NOT WORK YOUR ABS! COME ON NOW, DON'T BE A SISSY!" I didn't really give a crap at this moment. I looked around at the pain on the other people's faces who were in far better shape than myself, so I'm thinking I'm doing pretty damn good right now. Another guy next to me laid down for a minute, not to anyones surprise, there was Tony to pull on his shirt raising him off the ground and yelling at him not to be a sissy. Just about everyone in the class either had their butt raised or was on the floor for at least a few seconds, hoping not to be caught by the tank.
All and all, I think 1 month with this dude and I should be able to kick just about anyone's butt, and be in the best shape of my life. Mind you I'm just telling you about the 15 minute ab class. He also teaches an hour long step class. But that will be saved for another day. And, needless to say, I am in more pain this morning than I can ever recall being in.

Isn't Technology Great

2005-06-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

I just changed the address on my drivers license, registered to vote in Dallas county, and purchased a Tolltag all online and in about 20 minutes. So much for standing in line all day at the DPS. Isn't life great?

And you thought the Byron Nelson was about golf...

2005-06-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

While dining with my brother and Annie Marie yesterday at the wonderful I Fratelli Italian Restaurant, I began telling a story which afterwards, Sean encouraged me to blog. So, this begins my story. About 3 weeks ago I was attending the Byron Nelson golf tournament at the Four Seasons Resort in Las Colinas. I was with my boyfriend who is a golf pro and manager of the bag room at this particular hotel, meaning he knows several members who live on the course. One man, Mr. Yu, invited us in for a korean bar-b-que. Now, I have neither been to nor heard of a korean bar-b-que but it was HOT outside and I was definitely in the mood for a nice cold one. When we entered the backyard, we were greated by a koi pond and about 4 coolers full of ice cold beer. As we began eating and drinking to our hearts content, Mr. Yu continuously brings us more food, and to my pleasure, more beer, urging us to drink and eat! After about the 4th beer or so, I have an urge to use the restroom. Mrs. Yu tells me it is right inside the door and to the right. I enter the restroom, thinking nothing of it, sit down, only to feel the toilet has a warming sensation. I then look over to notice a control panel on the side of the toilet. That's right, it's all in Korean. I don't have a clue what these buttons mean. I'm getting a little nervous at this point. So, I finish, stand up and stare for about a minute. Pondering whether or not I should start pushing buttons. There is a big bright yellow button at the top, I only assumed that was the flush button. So I push, I was wrong. Water began spraying out of the toilet and onto my clothes. Luckily, it was very little. I push a few more buttons, some did nothing, or at least seemed to do nothing. Finally, I am thinking people are probably wondering just what the heck I am doing in that restroom for so long. It is then I realize that the toilet flushed just like any other. Oops. At least it made for a good story.
When I get back outside, Mr. Yu brings out the good stuff. He continues to serve us korean liquor, one was rasberry whiskey, I don't know what the others were but needless to say, the walk home was rather amusing. And, I got to use the bathroom about 4 more times before I left. It was a memorable day.

WAR

2005-06-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

Our IT guy at work just burpped very loudly and then acted like he didn't do it. He does that with farting too. In fact, it is rumored that he and cousin Adam have a war going. Luckily, I sit on the opposite side of the room.

The Sage Continues....

2005-06-09T11:13:00.000-07:00

I had to setup another time for what I hoped was a different Comcast employee to come set up my freakin internet. Sure enough, someone came, this time someone with a little more class and a lot more knowledge of what his job actually entailed. After one hour, he did the job and did it right. Kelly was his name. He questioned if I was so dissatisfied with the job performance of the previous Comcast employee, why did I sign the invoice. Rather shocked, I stated, "I did not such thing!" I do believe Kelly was not at all shocked when I said that. He went on to say that the other employee had turned in a work order with my signature on it, stating he completed the job, the internet was working, and he left a cable and router at my apartment. So Kelly gets someone on the phone from the call center for Comcast. The lady verifies that I am being billed for a "missing router" and for already having my service installed. The bill was nearly $300!!! Ain't that some BULL $#@%$&*! Anywho, Kelly drafted a statement saying I didn't have the router or cable and that I did not have service already installed from the previous employee. So all is well now, except that idiot that came out previously....still a Comcast employee.

CABLE GUY!!!

2005-06-08T07:16:00.000-07:00

I ordered Comcast internet for my new apartment in Uptown Dallas. I have someone scheduled to come install and hook it up for Monday between 11am and 2pm. 2 rolls around and my phone rings, there is a Comcast rep telling me someone is just now on their way and will arrive in the next 20 minutes. Mind you I have scheduled this for my lunch break so I can run home, let him do his business, then I can get back to work. Well, I'm waiting, waiting, waiting. It's 3pm, 4pm, finally 4:30pm when the phone rings again. I answer, "Hey, this is ____ (didn't understand what the heck he said). I'm waitin outside yo door fo ya, I'll just wait." As if I hadn't waited long enough for him. So, I leave work, arrive home and let him in. By appearance, not impressed, by speech, far less impressed. I had no idea what half of the things that came out of his mouth were. I don't even know if he was speaking english. It was closer to that ibonix language. The man comes into my apartment (a one room efficiency so there is no escape for me) where he plugs a cable into the wall, the router, and my computer. Much to my, well not surprise, it doesn't work. The man tells me, "I don't understand, I just did this. I thought all I had to do was plug in the cable". REALLY? If that's all then I can high jack the damn internet and wouldn't need to deal with this. Literally one hour has gone by, he has rearranged my apartment, moving the TV closer to the cable outlet to see if he could get that to work, which he didn't. Finally he calls customer service, puts the phone on speaker, turned very ridiculously loud. After being on hold for 10 minutes, a woman answers the phone. He says he is an employee. She says you need to call your tech support or your supervisor. The man proceeds to hang up on her followed by *&%&$#@! this, *%@#!& that *&#$@*%! This @$*@$ sucks, it's bull @$#*. All this time I am sitting in my chair reading my book pretending not to hear a word, though clearly I hear it all since I am in the same room and the man is no muttering under his breath but rather shouting the profanities. You can imagine that I am far past uncomfortable at this point. So, I tell the man, who has been here for over an hour and half to please leave, I will call and reschedule for another time as I have a previous engagement I must now attend to. All though there was some reluctancy on his part, he did leave but, not before telling me that when I call to reschedule, tell them that it was my idea to reschedule, that he had come and done his part and I am the one who had the conflict.
I actually did call customer service after he left, explained my experience, only to be told by the rep, "I'm sorry you had a bad experience, we can send someone else out to you on Wednesday". That was about it.
Moral of the story: Comcast is bad.

A day at the river

2005-06-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Sunday, I spent the day in Austin Texas, and New Braunfels. It all started with a cooler of beer, the hot sun and a good idea. After driving only an hour, I ended up at a little river called the Guadelupe. Got three tubes, one for me, one for Blake, and one for Blue, the cooler that holds the goodness that is ice cold beer on a hot Texas day. Despite the near 100 degree temp outside, the water was just about ice cold, but feelin real nice. After floating for about 100 yards or so, we get pulled over by some cops who are standing in water checking ID's for underagers. Luckily, we were not any of the sort. So, we keep floating and enjoying the day and the beer. Suddenly, along comes a rapid up ahead, a drop off of perhaps 1 1/2 feet. The only thought, save Blue. As the rapids approach, tensions are getting high, we each take a steady hold of her, then BAM! Off the tube I go, but alas, our goal of saving Blue and her contents was a success. In celebration, beer. This went on for about 4 hours. Probably the best 4 hours ever.

A Tale of Being Single in the City

2005-06-03T13:35:00.000-07:00

So, some friends convinced me to get on this Yahoo IM thing so that we can talk anytime. I did, thinking nothing of it. When you sign up, it prompts you for some info, including a picture and some mundane information; what do you like to do, etc... So, I'm on talking to a friend when some random guy starts talking to me. I think, oh, that's neat. So I talk back, starting very casual and friendly. As the conversation progresses, the guy begings prompting questions that are a little too personal for my taste. Wants to know where I work, fine, is there a dress code, fine, do I wear skirts, getting a little weird, and finally what kind of underwear I wear. I quickly terminate the conversation. Days go on and more and more I am getting these random "hello"s or "what's up" and more and more I am finding out that there are some very disturbed men in DALLAS. I will not elaborate any further but note I have left much out. So, if any men read this, I hope that you can slap some sense into your fellow brothers. And from the female stand point, or at least this females, that is the most unattractive thing anyone could do, and it will not land so much as a follow up conversation.

Rainforest

2005-06-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

Whilst in the midst of the rain forest, a sloth crossed my path and began to speak in a foreign tongue. One which I spoke well. "Why is the arrangatang a nomad of the trees?" He is smart beyond his years, I replied.

First Time Blogger

2005-06-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

Apparently this blog thing has become a revolution. A good one I might add. I find it quite intriguing that I can simply log into any persons blog and find out exactly what's going on with their lives. I hope my blog will be as intriguing to you as yours is to me.